November and December were horribly crazy with a lot of travel. We wanted to do a peer coaching session before I leave for my vaccation to warm and sunny Cuba but unfortunately that didn't happen and we decided to do it just after I return back. Skype was the agreed medium to conduct the meeting.
I was still in my holiday mode on 28th, Janis came with a proposal about the coaching session and I gladly accepted. The situation descriptions reads as :
Dhruv Germany engagement. I have employee, who is Senior Business Manager Components in my team. Recently it came to my attention that there is problem in his engagement with Germany Components team – specifically with one Product Manager there - Conny. Conny was having much more senior view of herself, than Dhruv had about her. She has felt that in communication style of Dhruv, and it created problem. She believed that Dhruv is undervaluing her because of being women, not taking her serious, and not being specific in supporting her. My objective is to coach Dhruv to understand the issue, and come up with an action plan to adjust his relations/ communication style with Conny. Having sad that Dhruv is in quite difficult position. Beside managing Western Digital business, he is responsible for overall Components strategy implementation in Europe. So, he has to manage his work and availability for Conny specific WD linked requests more that any other Business Manager in my team.
We decided on the modus operandi for this meeting, first I will play the role of a coach followed by feedback session and then we would reverse sides.
When I played the role of a Coach, I tried to stick to the GROW model.
Janis during the feedback session gave the following feedback:
- Set the objective upfront: It is useful to bring both parties on the same page and set the tone and momentum of the meeting by explicitly mentioning that this is the coaching session
- Talk less, listen more : I fell into the trap of talking more many a times.
- Summarizing by the coachee: I did the summarizing bit myself and Janis's remark was it should have been done by the coachee.
What went right:
- Exploring options: I challenged the coachee to think beyond obvious and come up with different options.
- Questioning: Challenging the coachee to explain something in more detail
- Time limit: I managed to finish it within 30 minutes slot
- Next steps: Agreeing on specific measurable next steps.
Then I played the role of Dhruv. I intentionally tried to take the position of being defensive and push back. Janis used the "why" question very skillfully and that kind of forced me shed a bit of my defensive position
what went right:
- Setting the objective: It was quite clear from the opening line that we are here for a coaching session
- Exploring options: Janis encouraged to come up with more options by giving some clues and hints. This helped in guiding the thought process
- Setting goals: Goals were set quite clearly
- Time limit: Janis managed to wrap up the meeting within the time limit
what could be improved
- Sandwich Approach: I told him about my experience with this approach. It encourages the coachee to be more open and help them feel better. The packaging of negative points between postives conveys that this is a coaching session rather than a reprimand.
- Personal touch: Sharing a bit of personal experience helps. It leaves a lasting impression and the session less robotic.
- Figuring out coachee strategy: Coach should be aware about the strategy of the coachee ex: losing focus, pushing back. Playing the right counter strategy will make the session more fruitful.
In the end we agreed on our next meeting and action items.
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